Silent Sunday

Expat blog hop - Week 16

Every Thursday, a blog hop for Expat bloggers where each week we post about Expat life, living abroad......


The topic for next Thursday is My new town..............


Write a post relating to the topic. It doesn't have to be a new post, it could be something you have written or submitted before. It doesn't have to be writing this week it could be a photo?


Then after your post, copy and paste the button below and add yourself to the Linky on my post.


The linky will be posted up on Thursday and stay open all week, so you can share your post. 

Expat blog hop 15 - How do expat women build an international network of colleagues and friends?

As an expatriate -  a large part of the adventure is making new friends. Meeting the other members of the expatriate community is the first step to acclimatizing to a new home.

However, familiarizing yourself with the people whose homeland it is can take a little more effort.

Taking  time to venture out of your initial comfort zone and the reward is a cultural experience and new friendships that can extend your vision of life.

Many women who have to emigrated abroad, have done so in the majority of cases; as a result of the husband's work, emotional or family issues or simply because they are going in search of better opportunities. 

And bravely, we must leave behind our family, our friends and even our professions, without thinking much about what it would mean, that is the the adaptation process in another country. 

And, in the time I've been here, I have heard many times, several women say  how difficult it has been for them to make friends in the Netherlands.
After repeatedly listening to these comments, I kept thinking that perhaps one of the reasons is, the way we express ourselves is completely different from the Dutch. The Spanish  (a culture I am used to)  for example, are warmer, they talk with people,  and enjoy being surrounded all the time by people.

The habit of talking and socializing, then, is something that we think, is inherent in every human being. However, not everyone has the "gift" of the word, which means that if someone never speaks, it is not because they are not so sociable like us, but because they are perhaps very shy or simply grew up in a culture where they are not accustomed to suddenly approaching a stranger.

But  how can we know whether or not a person is friendly, if we are  trying to exchange a word with her?

A friend, of Latin origin, who had been little more than one year living here, told me that one of her friends, who had been living  for more than 5 years in Holland, had told her that the secret of making friends in a new country, is to be the person who takes the initiative and use the phone to suggest any good plan. 

And I think that it is true, the best way to make friends is by removing  the penalty and taking the first step,  "If you want to make friends, you have to play the game"

So making friends, consists in carrying out such simple things as starting a conversation, sending  a text message or making a phone call. Don't let that shyness be the obstacle that prevents you  from surrounding yourself with new friends, Many times the best friendships start with the exchange of a few words and the rest is history! I met my Dutch friend at a party, and started up a conversation with her, now we are good friends and our children are friends. I have someone I can rely on, ask for help and so does she. All it took was a small conversation.
Making new friends!

1 Learn about the country where you are going to live before you go. Read travel guides and history books. See documentaries. Familiarize yourself with the culture to understand the customs, festivals, food and the environment of potential friends. Once in the country, immerse yourself in that culture, never think oh that is not me. I have a motto, If you can't beat them join them, that motto especially worked the last few days with Carnaval!

2. Balance the time spent chatting with old friends online whilst living abroad, with interaction in real life with new acquaintances in the country where you live now. Make an effort to communicate with owners of shops and bars, the local residents who work in the same company that you or your spouse do. It can be easy to spend time seeing what old friends are up to and thinking about what you are missing but you may be missing things that are there in your new environment. Join the local gym, choir, groups and clubs. Through joining the choir I now have another friend and we do aerobics together, not only does it get me out, but my Dutch has improved immensely,.

3 Learn the  language of your new home. Take a class to learn the basics and then engage in a conversation based on the classes. Share photos of your family, home cooking  and stories about your own life with your companions and teachers. Show your appreciation to share their lives.

4. Involve your family in the development of friendships. Rather than always hanging out with other expatriates, schedule a regular time to go to the park with your children. Play with other children, meet the parents of other children. Go to local activities such as a family outings.

5. Ask questions, when you purchase something or explore the area, even if it is only to ask for directions. Your question opens the door to a future conversation. The market is always a great source for conversations, many Dutch women always gather round the flower stall for a chat. Even if it is only a hello every time you go back and a how are you? you will feel more involved in the community and wanted and welcomed.

6.Invite new friends to join you for lunch, dinner or an excursion. Get involved ask them to show you historical sites, teach you the local customs.

7.Ask people to visit your home. Start with sharing a simple meal and then expand to include your new friends in family celebrations and festivals. When you are invited to their house, accept with grace and bring a small gift to show your appreciation

8. Connect with your colleagues. If you are in another country for work or study, you have colleagues as well. So it is a logical step to get to know them on a more personal level and try to make friends with some of them. Don't only keep their relationship work or study related. After work or after school, invite some of your colleagues out for a beer or something. You will likely  discover at least one or two people who really you bond with. 

9 Participate in meet-ups. In most large cities, there are special events for people who want to meet other people. These meet ups are an easy way to interact with new people and make friends. 

The first step is to go online and search for meet ups in your area. Choose those which work in terms of time and place and attend them. .

Whatever you do, do not be too demanding. The key to see the results yourself,is to participate in any event and be sociable.

In fact, there are many ways to meet people and make new friends.  

Put them into practice and socialise on a regular basis, and  you will  find living in another country to be much more fulfilling and happy experience. 

"My friends are my estate."
- Emily Dickinson

This post is part of my weekly expat blog hop, see more about it here.

If you have written a post about How to make friends in an expat world, then link it up below, with the Add link button, don't forget to visit the other blogs too!

#Silent Sunday

Expat blog hop - 15- The prompt for next week is...

The prompt for next weeks blog hop is: 


How do expat women build an international network of colleagues and friends?


Every Thursday, a blog hop for Expat bloggers where each week we post about Expat life, living abroad......



Every week (Saturday) I will give a topic for the following Thursday. It could be anything like  5 things you... a photograph of .....a question that needs answering......


Write a post relating to the topic. It doesn't have to be a new post, it could be something you have written or submitted before. 


Then after your post, copy and paste the button below and add yourself to the Linky on my post.


The linky will be posted up on Thursday, so you can share your post.  Read more about the blog hop here and see our previous posts.

Expat blog hop - 14

The theme for this weeks Expat Blog hop is objects - Is there anything in your new expat country that you use daily but before you arrived there you had no idea what one was or that such an invention even existed!


So here are my objects I encountered on arriving to the Netherlands

 I had never encountered such a contraption before I came to the Netherlands, and it is a dangerous object. I have lost (or nearly lost) many fingers using this. It just isn't made for non Dutch people. Dutchie agrees apparently I murder a cheese block whenever I go near one. Grating the cheese or cutting slices off a block is not the way to do it at all. We have two types of cheese in our fridge one for Dutchie and his cheese slicer and a packet of ready sliced slices for me. Kills 2 birds with one stone, I don't murder the cheese and the cheese slicer doesn't murder me.

I wondered who invented such an  object and it was a Norwegian man, Thor Bjorklund. He patented the object in 1925. Legend says that one hot summers day he couldn't get his cheese as thin as he would like, so as he was a carpenter he decided to make a object similar to the one he used for planing wood. I wonder why he just didn't open a pack of ready sliced cheese. (But then I suppose it was 1925)

 I have one of these in my house, it makes coffee. I don't even like coffee, hate the stuff, so it gathers dust, until one of my dutch friends or family come round. I really don't know what was wrong with the good old jar of Nescafe that I used to pull out the cupboard, but whenever I would say Coffee? and then pull out the jar, I would get a response of ooooh no, actually I'll just have tea.

This also plays a big part in our especially for me, I am now converted to what is inside and would never think of serving this in any other way, Do you have one of these?

And lastly I wonder if you have one of these in your house, Next week Ill be posting more about what it is...

If you would like to join in with the Expat blog hop, then write a post relating to the topic. It doesn't have to be a new post, it could be something you have written or submitted before. 

Then after your post, copy and paste the button below and add yourself to the Linky on my post.The linky will be up all week. Don't forget to visit the other expat bloggers too and grab the new look button below or in my sidebar!

Versatile blogger award

So there I was on Sunday, browsing the newspapers online when a tweet popped up on my screen, " Is Windmilltales on Twitter, I would like to congratulate her" Or something similar, congratulate me on what?


Then I received the congratualtions directly from Adventures in Expat land who had nominated me with a Versatile Blogger award.

 So thank you! I am honoured and chuffed (she liked that word!) to be in your list
 
My nominations for the Versatile Blogger award are:



 A matter of choice
In Emsyjo's own words, "Destiny is not a matterof chance, it is a matter of choice" Blogging about many things, including her life in Cyprus.

Very Bored in Catalunya
Keeps me in touch with a bit of Spain, and keeps me entertained and informed!

Invading Holland
Accident prone man living in Holland, who probably missed his cue in life, has me rolling in stitches most posts!

Mrs Teepot
Several great blogs, all linked together from cooking to her latest post on her date with the French man, which made me smile!

A Bavarian Soujourn
Having moved from Copenhagen to Munich, a new blog but still just as great

Expat mum in Portugal
A British mum living in Portugal, has some lovely posts about living in Portugal but also about raising our children and instilling values in them. Makes a versatile reading.

Kellogsville
 A guider from the Uk, Kellogsville can make me laugh, cry and cringe all in one post!


Domestic Godess
This is what she says, "Domestic Goddesque shares ideas for simple recipes, house-keeping and crafts for every age, along with a few shortcuts so that you can appear to be the Domestic Goddess you want to be." And a Domestic Versatile Godess she is!


The Imagination tree
Versatility in crafts,  Anna, from UK has so many wonderful craft ideas for children.

Silent Sunday

The Expat Blog hop is back!

The theme for next weeks Expat Blog hop is objects - Is there anything in your new expat country that you use daily but before you arrived there you had no idea what one was or that such an invention even existed!


Every Thursday, a blog hop for Expat bloggers where each week we post about Expat life, living abroad......

Every week (Saturday) I will give a topic for the following Thursday. It could be anything like  5 things you... a photograph of .....a question that needs answering......

Write a post relating to the topic. It doesn't have to be a new post, it could be something you have written or submitted before. 

Then after your post, copy and paste the button below and add yourself to the Linky on my post.

The linky will be posted up on Thursday, so you can share your post.  Read more about the blog hop here and see our previous posts.

One step up in the bicycle world

Bicycles are everything here in the Netherlands and I have blogged before about my antics, about how I was never cycling again when I first got here.

Well I have got used to it now, as most expats eventually do. My bike has become part of me, I would never dream of walking to the shops anymore, Why? when I can easily cycle, even in the ice, even if it is slippery and I have a 3 year old on the bike constantly giving me her voice of encouragement, " Don't fall mummy, Don't go boooom mummy" We fell once 2 years ago and she has never forgiven me for it.

But I have gone up in the bicycle world, I have advanced one more step, I now have a children's seat at the back. A notch up in this cycling lark.

Now if you have never cycled with a child on your bike you may not know what I mean but first you get a seat for the front, makes the steering slightly weird and you have to get used to it and then when your child is about 14 kilos, or like Funky Monkey, their knees get so far up to the handle bars that steering is near on impossible, it is time for an upgrade and you get a seat for the back.

A whole new experience! I can't see her anymore, which is bizarre and she finds it funny too as she keeps saying " Mummy turn your head and look at me", as she does so she precariously tilts us to one side as she happily leans over to see me, which results in me shouting, " No, we will fall" which then starts her off with the afore mentioned words, " Mummy don't fall"

It also stranger to maneouver the bike with a 14 ton (it feels like that anyway) child on the back. And sharp turns are more carefully carried out. I also learnt that I can't lift the front wheel up anymore to spin it round a corner when walking a) she is too heavy b) the bike tips up. Physics  was never a strong point of mine.

So i am proud in this new advance of my biking skills, although I have a dilemma, I don't know where to put my handbag (or shopping  for that matter)! When Funky Monkey was on the front I had carriers on the back but now the seat is there I cant have them. Dutchie took off the front seat ignoring my protests as to where am I going to put my handbag? His response was hang it on the handle bars or over my shoulder, great more weight to make me even more unstable than I already am!!

So I have sneakily put the front seat back on, he hasn't said anything and I have a place to put my handbag once more.

The moral to all this is buy a proper bike upon arriving in the Netherlands, what the Dutch call a moederfiets, a mummy bike, designed to carry 2 children, shopping, a cat, a dog, and any other random child, animal or object that you encounter on your cycles.

So there will be a part two to this adventure I am buying a new bike with the help of a great Dutch system called the Fiets woon werkverkeer regel at my work...........

For the moment if you see a slightly erratic cyclist with everything but the kitchen sink on her bike, just leave about 1m of distance around her and approach carefully, she is not responsible for her actions,

Some great bike pics.

Out of hibernation .................(Snow and Elfstendentocht)

 ..... although given the weather I would rather be a harvest mouse or other hibernating animal.

So, the winter has been a mild one so far, even the last few days and weeks of biting cold wind, couldn't beat my first two years in the Netherlands.  I wrote this last week and never finished! 


I am now eating my words......


The country covered in the white stuff. is beautiful, it gleams and glistens in the sun, until it turns to that awful grey sludge and treacherous ice.

"The Dutch Met Office KNMI has issued its first ‘severe’ weather alert (code orange) this year.

The snow fall will last approximately 3 to 4 hours. Most of the snow is expected in the west. Many places could have 3 to 5 inches snow fall. Weather Online says the Netherlands will face about 10 inches of powder snow. " (Quoted from Dutch Daily News Feb 2012)

The weather is also bad news for ice skating fans, the snow will prevent ice growth which means that the Elfstedentocht, a Dutch word that refers to one of the toughest races in the world, will probably not be taking place. 

The Elfstedentocht is possibly one of the few sporting events without a fixed date, always dependant on the temperature being low enough to freeze all the canals of the country. The minimum ice thickness has to be 15 cms. When the thickness is reached, they say the magic words"It giet oan" announcing that the race is held. The night before the race, is called "Nacht van Leeuwarden", the night of Leeuwarden, taken from the city where one starts.This race originally conceived as a contest by the Frisian Skating Association has been  organized for 90 years and is so exceptional  that it has only ocurred 15 times, making it the biggest sport in the Netherlands and making the winners, national heroes.The last time it was held was January 4, 1997 and 16,000 skaters participated. It only happened because of a Siberian cold wave and it was announced 2 days before.The winner, the farmer Henk Angenent, finished in 6 hours, 49 minutes and 18 seconds. The route is 124 miles and it passes  through 11 cities in the Dutch region of Friesland. In fact, Elfstedentocht is also known as the "race of the eleven cities."
It is such a difficult race that in 1929, Karst Leemburg required the amputation of one his toes after the race.

So maybe after the snow front has passed, and it remains preliminary dry with moderate and severe frost, the race could be held?

"The coming weekend promises to be the coldest in years. Both tonight, tomorrow night and in the night of Sunday until Monday the minimum calculated temperature in the Netherlands will be between minus 10 and minus 17 degrees, possibly even lower." (quoted from the Dutch Daily News Feb 2012)

Maybe I'll keep hibernating for a few weeks more.....................

Bilingualism Blogging Carnival

As I said, I may come out of hibernating for the odd post or two and today, I am out for a fabulous collection of posts from bloggers all over the globe.


The December 2011 Blogging Carnival on Bilingualism is here at Tales for Windmill Fields.

Here in the Tales from Windmillfields household we celebrate Christmas in three cultures, three languages and three ways.


Sinterklaas, Surprises and Zwarte Pieten  for the Netherlands, Father Christmas, Roast Turkey and stockings for Britain, and Reyes and Roscon for Spain.


Of course all three get muddled up, we have a pieck on the top of our tree not an angel and kerst krantjes hanging off our branches, instead of Christmas chocolates. Sinterklaas songs get sung now and Jingle Bells in November.


But the important thing to me is that Funky Monkey and I and Dutchie are celebrating in our own way, in 3 languages, 3 cultures and enjoying it too!


I have had great fun reading all about other bilingual and multicultural families and how this time of the year is for them. Hope you enjoy them too!


1. Amanda over at The Educators spin on it tells us about some of her favourite Christmas traditions and some tips  on celebrating a diverse Christmas


2. Over at German in the afternoon, Kate talks blending holiday traditions of three cultures


3. Nikolaus and how celebrating festivals can strengthen the cultural identity in the minority language is the post on Mummy do that's blog. 


4. One of my favourite Christmas songs is All I want for Chirstmas, all Inculture parent wants is Perfectly Bilingual Children


5. Intrepidly bilingual will be celebrating a Christmas cobbled together from both German and Canadian traditions.


6. Christmas, Krampus and Cookies for Chanukah makes fabulous reading over at Non native bilingualism.


7.  Sarah at Baby Bilingual rounds up some French Christmas resources


Lastly not related to the Wintery/ Christmassy theme but very relevant and I found it a fascinating read is Italo Bimbi's post on Teaching shallow or deep languages: methods are different! 


Also can we help maybe with our comments Gato and Canard who is wondering which language to choose. 


If you are not already subscribed, then why not subscribe to the Blogging carnival newsletter.


The carnival will be back in the new year on Multilingual Mamas blog

Hibernating for the Winter

It is a busy time of the year here in the Windmill fields household, so Tales from Windmill Fields is hibernating for the winter, It will back in the New Year.

There maybe sporadic posts and commenting now and again though!

Ben & Holly's Little Library review

Apart from Peppa pig, Princess Holly from Ben and Holly's Magical kingdom is another firm favourite in our house. Funky Monkey some days will only wear her Princess Holly pants!

So we loved it when the Little library arrived for us to review.
 

A board book box-set that presents an introduction to the magical land of the Little Kingdom, where flowers and grasses rise above the tallest towers. It lets you to meet Ben Elf, Princess Holly and all their enchanting friends and family.

Now,  it is not full on reading at all, in fact the stories are really short and sweet with little content but Funky Monkey loves taking them in the car and making up her own stories. She also loves to sit all her dolls and teddies in a line and read them the Princess Holly stories. It is great to hear her using her language to try and explain what is happening on each page.

They are lovely little books, great for any Ben and Holly fan!


Priced at 4.99 it is a little Stocking filler gem for all those Ben and Holly loving fans. They can be bought at all good book retailers.

Thanks to License to PR who have kindly given us this product to review. All opinions expressed in this review are our own and not influenced in any way by the company.